just a basic update~

pinguuuuuuuuu:)..heyhey..i wonder do u still read this? lols. its ok if you dont. i like releasin tention here;P..hahhahah. so yea..hope you're doin fine.:D

pinguuuuuuu..life kinda weird lately la. everything seems so different and all. form 4 started and i was lost in my class. its been 1 month or 2 dy. and i've gotten use to it eventually. but still i dunno why i always think about the old times too much?>< la="="

so yea...hmm ping..i ask u la..do u tink i was stupid abt the life i've chosen. i noe i've hurt tommy and shyam oso. haiz. lols...i just always luk back and rmbr the times u advice me..it wasnt much..but u manage to make me laugh:)

you know...i never got to say thank you to you enough. haha. doh i noe there's no way to thank you for all you've done. even now my dad wans to thank you. hahahha. my parents damn garang dy you noe? don't let me talk to certain ppl. bt they were like sayin..esp my mum: people..like kong and zhen...are true frens...stick by your side when ur in trouble..be there for u...you should appreciate. i really realised mummy was right. and no words cn ever describe how thankful i am. i just wish i could hv gotten dat blackberry for u>< rmbr the time we text when iwas in ipoh..14 msgs to say byebye..haha..candy dreams la..vanilla dreams la. lols. and the time u stayed up till 2am to teman me cause i was sad. or the times when u me n plip chat til 3am. i miss you alot wei.

really sometimes..i cant tahan. wana cry...dunno who and where to cry to. things used to be so eazy..but growin up..is so hard.:(..i wish can pause time and appreciate everything. u noe the big bear u gave? lols..i .hug it sumtimes when i reli feel like breakin down. isit weird?@@ hahhaha. but like..yea..hug teddy bear to calm me down when im done. oso the brown bear u gave to me for valentine's day durin form 2:)..thanks btw:P

have u ever thought to urself abt the past pingy? regreting? feeling sad for the times you were happy? cause its over..or happy for the times you were sad..cause ur true frens were der to make u smile? hahah. i do all thetime. and..i think alot abt u. haha. you're really nice to me la. haaa...u've really...how do u sarcrifice so much and not mind? i just..wow..admire ur bravery to always be here..always protect me frm gettin hurt. just...really touched><

i sometimes wish i could turn back time a return to a time when both of us were laughin our ass off...in the past...it was really..a memory i cant erase frome my mind. the times u've walk me back...the times u ejjek me...etc. haaaa...bt i noe i have to move on. i guess im pms-in nw..makin me extra emo. ahahhahah. sorry><..

i hope the best for you..and hapiness for you..cause for all you've done for me..you deserve the best you cn get. and please noe..and rmbr..im always here...standing by ya...offering u my shoulder and a hand:)...sounds lame== but i mean it. feel free to talk to me abt anythg wenever u wan..and i'll try me best to do the same....im always here...always was...always am..always will:D

tats all for now. tc pingyy. mis u..love u.. sweet dreams. ttfn..IMTF<3

btw...found this quote>>

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. "

i certainly hope both of us..stay friends for life..bros n sis for life...cause i duno wat i'd do without you as my fren ping. SMILE ALWAYS...au revoir^^

cyys mangkukheartyou:D

words..

p.s. 想你 - means thinking of you<3


alot has been going out lately..and well...when im sad or anythg..i just come to this blog..and it seems like all my troubles fade away...i sit in front of the laptop...at 2am or 3am in the morning..reading this blog..and everything said in it..again n again. and even though..i hv read everythg..i can still cry everytime i look at the words said by him. and its not anger..or sadness..its the hapiness which makes me tear up..what we both were..and had..as bro n sis.

haha. everytime i miss him. i would just come to this blog. and read the first few blogs. he's so cute. taking our to write a blog..and might have been so mafan..but he could still do it for me. perasan i noe==.ahaha. but yea..this blog..wow..its more den one years old dy:)..im so proud of it actually:)..and i dont really noe if he reads this blog anymore..but he doesnt update. haha. its ok..i understand he got other stuff to do:)

2010 really finish so fast man. haiz. so much has happened this year. fights..break ups..making new frens..etc etc. but one thing i cant help but remember was the times i had with him. it wasnt as much as last year..but..well..i got to spend countless times with him. he drew a mangkuk on mmy poems book. haha. still kept it. scared if i threw it away..i might never get something like that anymore from him. haha. why so negatif right? well...tengah pms-in nw. hate period so much==..ahaahah. xD

ow...my poems book...lols..i cant find it. but the real thing is...did i make an effort to find it? or do i just wish to forget all those sad times i had crying, laughin, being angry, writing those words down. well i dont wana be emo. so i duwana luk at it. so is my diary. its a year old dy. haha. my 1st page i wrote about was him. my bro:). epic. but haha...cant bear to touch my diary..too many hurtful thoughts in it...i rather hide it behind all my books and discover it maybe 10 years later.

i feel lost lately. haha. sad seeing him continue s****ing. i know he's sad. but i really dislike when he does it. i know i cant stop him. and have no rights to..but..i just dont want him to continue hurting himself. sometimes i just wish i could go there grab the box and lighter..and just throw it away. if he wans money back..sure..i would. i remember song shin told me once..they were goin to timesquare..and he said dat he took the box and said..: for carissa. and he threw it away. at least that's what i heard. hope its true doh. happy dat he's willing to for me. and yea...it might be thinking too much..but most of my relatives die of lung cancer cz they s****.

and honestly..i might only know him for 3 years? but well...i really wan him to stop this habit. cause..i had a dream once..both of us were like old. with our friends. and we met up. laughin about the old times. and updating each other about our children and grandchildren. i woke up crying because well..i really wana live till im old..with him around still making me laugh:D i wana grow old with him..my kkb..by my side...cause..im afraid if he keeps on his habit..im scared to think of the future. stupid right cyys?==...but well..im an asshole. haiz. choi choi choi!!!><>

now..im caught up hurting alot of people i care about. and i dont know what to do. i just hope they understand that i never meant to. but my best friend told me once..that i cant possibly make all my friends happy without hurting some. but i wish i didnt have to. life is better than the worst times..but im really missing alot of stuff.

next year's gonna be form 4. and everythings gonna change again. haha. i hope as long as i keep in contact with all..things wont end up like my sis being damn distant with her close friends. well..i believe in my friends..and well...i cn feel that we might be apart..but still be great frens. esp kkb...ahhaha...jz kacau him...make me laugh dy..his reaction. ahhaha. hope i get that reaction till in the future..praying so. even doh im free thinker...i cn stil pray:P

so yea..i guess..this is it. i got alot to say but..next time perhaps. maybe he wont see this..but..deep in my thoughts..i hope he would. tc bloggie. tc kkb. love u:)..IMTF<3

cyys^^

a few thoughts....im thinking;)

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through,
we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you,
I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through,
we'll make it through
-------------------------------------
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile...

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
-----------------------
sometimes in our lives
we all have pain
we all have sorrow
but if we are wise
we'll know that there's always tomorrow

lean on me
when your not strong
and i'll be your fren
i'll help you carry on
for it wont be long
till im gonna need somebody to lean on


CYYS LOVES KKB! best bro ever! :P smiles always..
7 words from the bottom of my heart..
I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS:)

I STILL:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yLG-lW_r_g (the link if u wana hear the song)

"I Still..."

Who are you now?
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow?
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you?
And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that?

No matter how I fight it
Can't deny it
Just can't let you go

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

Now look at me
Instead of moving on, I refuse to see
That I keep coming back
And I'm stuck in a moment
That wasn't meant to last (to last)

I've tried to fight it
Can't deny it
You don't even know

That I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

No no
Wish I could find you
Just like you found me
Then I would never let you go(without you)

Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you


love this song...enjoy!!
`cyys~

=)

-K-

p.s

TO : TANG CHUI YIN A.K.A MUSHY MUSHROOM n
CARISSA YEOH YEW SHAN A.K.A MANGKUK HEAD n many many more

7 words from the bottom of my heart ~ forever n always i will love you

im always here for you 2 :) from now on i'll think positively :D



you said this in ur old post..PLS RMBR...THINK POSITIVELY^^

just a thought...

hey, i dunno wether you still read this bloggie or not?

sexy butt;)

but..just a short one this time..which is weird for me..cz normally i crap so much right? ahahha..i know==. but yea..just really need to settle somethings with you koh.

1. HOW are YOU??? i hope ur doin fine. so long no talk talk. and sori if u feel i x layan you. im just giving you space. doesnt mean im distaning frm u..cz rmbr wat i said? u are the closest guy to me..even doh not dat close like last tym..i cn still tel u everythg=)

2. well..HOWS life? i dont see you often. but cn see you everyday happy wif frens..im gud. i noe u hv probs. and i reli reli dun wan u to be sad koh. you noe..i used to say koh like so freely last time..feel so funi nw. hahah..gues din blog much. n din text u much. but..yea..hope u cn update me wif life and all la=)

3. IM SORRY... wow..u heard dat a million tyms frm me liao ryt? i betcha ur sick n tired dy. but i do mean it. i x text u dat often..i noe y la...ever since we fought..but i stay positif n im hapi so hapi..i din noe why i x tink like dat last tym. cz..even doh we distance..i used to emo ryt? wen we r far apart..bt nw..as longg i gt to see u..n u actually talk n laugh n ejek me..gawd..u dunno hw hapi u make me when u layan me.

4. THANK you... and annother word u hear frm me. ahahhah. paiseh==.. but yea. i noe u've done soo much for me. dats y..i always cry wen we fight. and i forgive u no matter wat or always wanna gt back wif u. its cz..those hapi memories we both share i nvr cn forgt.. rmbr last year at padang..u lend me a shoulder to cry on. and u said..ur shoulder is always for me to cry on. and on mimi party..we jz became closer n closer. i was damn hapi. everythg u do for me..know i appreciate u..even if i x show it..but i truly wana thnk u for being my koh..n protecting me=)

5. sum1 once told me..day sayin those 3 words gt no use. and ppl should stop complainnin n do stg abt it. fine i agree. ahahha. but i reli do la. admit stg? im jealous of cy..so pretty smart n nice..ahhaha..bt im glad u all cn be fren..da ppl i care abt..bein together..gawd i reli smile wen i see dat. even if jealous hapi more la:P..ahhaha. but just rmbr u mean alot to me. and ur bday.. it doesnt mean anythg i noe..but letme tell u.. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to KONG WOON PING..my CLOSEST BRO...and..those 3 words? lols..well.. CYYS reli reli reli reli wana say.. "I MISS YOU"....:)

wow...i said short one==..nvm..x believe me next tym. ahahha.. so much to tell u. i wish cn talk to u more. and..i noe..u gt probs now..and noe...u n me..no matter wat...mangkuk n king kong bra..bro n sis for a longggggggggg time to come. dont need to emo. i will give u time to tink and heal k koh? let me know when ur ready to talk. im jz a few classes away frm u. ;)..rmbr..i trust u..and love u koh<3...tc..

IMTF^^ smile....(cyys)

i dunno

iyoyo...koh...
im so confused la...people keep backstabbin one another nowadays..its like so weird. all da nice ones..i tote i could trust...deir being so...uughhh. fake.
A...she actually said im a backstabber...i like to talk bad abt ppl..get close to ppl oni 2 talk bad..say cant trust me..and im a b****....? wth? haiz.
n N...? she is my fren...damn close summore...all those tym we spend? were all those ntg. acc to da person who told me dat dey bs me...N..agree wif everythg A say.== n P...my gawd form 1 we were like damn freakin close. cz da other P go tel him dat all of us talk bad abt him...P n N...like don't trust me anymore. da P dat tell ppl those stuf..twist da storyy all da time la..i duno..or maybe P n N take it too seriously? its jz..i dun give a damn abt A? jz disapointed in N n P. n it hurts knowing ppl tink dat way abt me.
it hasnt been eazy since yeeting left..actually it hurts...so damn much. she was like..my everythg..n i didnt appreaciate her properly. haiz. da few days since she left..i was crying everyday..n nw..its been 2 months dy. bt it oni seems like yesterday..dat she was beside me..holdin my hand..tellin me nt to cry. every morning..i come up da stairs...i look up..hoping she's der! waiting for me..i noe i wrote this b4 many times..but i still do it EVERY-SINGLE-DAY.... nw...im closer to other ppl la...bt it aint da same.
same thing with u. pls noe..u reli were da closest guy to me k? da oni guy i text frm morning to night. yea..i got closer to zhen..den dev..nw shyam n kiren..i tink i was tryin to find sum1 as close to me as u. n yea...all of dem r super awesome..bt..dey missing stg...they jz werent u. i jz cant replace ppl la..same like yeeting.
rmbr..i use to annoy u wif bein emo and stuff...maybe i still annoy u..hahha..sori==. but..u noe y i did dat? n i smile wif others? it cuz..i get to be myself wif u...i oni gt to be myself wif carmen n chuiyin..i used to la..nw..like diff dy wif both of dem. so yea...maybe u x understaand..bt..u were truly like a bro..i cn trust..i cn be mad at.. dat tym u told me u gonna pindah? rmbr? i cried like crap da time i found out.
all those memories..jz came bak...sure...we mite nt be as close as last tym..bt we were da closest u noe? so thnk gawd u din move. abt ur bday..i reli reli believe u everytym..im sure u notice==..ahahha..so i aplogize..i owe u..all the time..nt oni cz of dat..bt for everythg u've done for me. so reli let me belanja u oor stg? ahahah.
i have so much to say..bt..i cant describe it. ow ow..since yeeting..left...i mean..i feel i nid to be more independant la u noe? so feel more open la. nt so emo all the time? lols. im fine=)
so thanks for everythg..i mis writing blogs like tis..yay..lols..ttfn kkb..tc;)

Romance Story

memories of smiles and laughter=)

well..since you miss the old times..we shall share it together okay? here are some pics to fill your mind with smiles..like they did to me..=)

me bday! woohoo!!...=)


naresha and me=) shaarmila's deepavali..somebody DIDNT COME!!!==


zhen and keshen..in nike pavi..(kesh de face..lmao)

pigs sleeping together=)...hahahha..esp u=P


look at your face!! aahahaha...shaarmila blur== cny last year man=)


muka babi!! ahahaha..luv tis pic..and da day..all 7 of us lepak=P


jusco..i died with prakkash on that ride..>< it was awesome..cuz da gun can shoot wwater..and i kena shaarmila!! muahaha!!

hot ass!! hahaha...=)


you weren't there..but kesh look funi!! so must show you!! ahaha..=)

i put this...cause i want you to laugh at kal's face!! ahahahah!! XD

freeezzzeee!! CNY and nigel's house last year=)

hahah..joelle's bday..keshen touchin ass..and u luking=P


da lovely couple=)..ahahha..nigel's bday last year...naresha's face><
kinda recent la..ahahah...at mcd...idiot kena coke on me><


posers...i <3 weird="="


you didnt know i took this right? ahahahh!! surprise!=)


anyways..i wan a pic with you one day=)..ahahahah...hope you enjoyed! and smile always kkb..ur da best koh! <3>cyys signing out:)